LaDonna Taylor

There's a lady who plays violin who comes to visit our church every once in a while. I've only seen her play once before, and I was turned off. It's not that she was doing anything contradictory to what I believed, it just seemed like what she came to say and do would been better at a concert or something rather than as a replacement to our actual Sunday service. I just like going and listening to my pastor on Sunday mornings I guess.

Anyways, she came again yesterday--Easter Sunday. This time was different. I still can't put a finger on it. All I know is that God was speaking to me yesterday while she played and talked. The first time she came I just sat there like a rock. Anyways, she called for prayer and I decided to go because I realized the only reason I didn't want to go up there is because I had a bad first impression and I was full of pride.

I realized that God can and should be worshiped in any atmosphere available.

Romans 7 and 8 Journal 1: Introduction

Tonight at the youth board meeting, Pastor Dot said I should read the book of Romans and speak on it next Wednesday (April 10). I said, "Wow! The WHOLE BOOK of Romans? In one night?" And, since she knows me, she says, "Ok, I see what you mean. Let's narrow it down to Romans chapter 7 and 8. Those are some good ones." But I was still taken aback about speaking about BOTH CHAPTERS in one night, but I think I'll be able to do it somehow. There's SO MUCH in those chapters.

I've decided to read these chapters at least every day. A couple times a day wouldn't hurt, but we're just gonna start out with once a day. Even if I don't get to say everything that hit me while I read this in the actual youth service next week, I'll at least have it posted here. Take a break and read Romans 7 and 8 if you want to completely understand what I'm gonna be talking about. Here's tonight's thoughts:

After having read through these two chapters for the first time this week, there's too much to cover, so I'm glad I'm stretching this out over a couple of nights.

This passage is really cool because Paul (the writer) presents the sin problem, talks about how God solved it through Christ, and then builds and builds and builds on just the sheer amazingness of Jesus and his incredible love. It starts explaining that the "old man" has died because Christ saved us from sin and now we're like a widow who is free to marry. Being free, we have married ourselves to the freedom Jesus offered. Sin no longer calls the shots and and carries us all the way to the grave.

Paul gets realistic here. I'm sure we all ask ourselves the question: "If we're free from sin, how come we sin?" right? I know I have. It doesn't make sense to hear that we're free from sin if we can look at our lives and notice that we're sinning everywhere, does it? That's where we go wrong, and I realized why for the first time tonight. Just read these next few sentences slowly so they'll sink in.



God has gotten rid of the old, sinful man.

We are not like we used to be, we are changed.

Sin is no longer in us... but we sin...

...why?

Remember this: Sin is no longer IN us. It just GETS IN OUR WAY.

We are no longer controlled by sin, but it's still there because it exists to block our path.



Does that make any sense to you? It hit me like a moment of epiphany. Sin IS no longer in me! It's just in my way. That makes me feel so much cleaner! But it also makes me feel much more like sin is just a big stupid thing in the way. Like trash I can kick to the side as I'm walking by. Man, that makes me feel a lot more like the conqueror God has made me!

A lot of people will read Romans 7 and get to that passage towards the end where Paul talks about how confusing it is that he still sins, and these readers will close the book, sigh, and just say to themselves, "Man life just sucks, seems like I'll never be able to do it. It even says it here in the Bible." I know I have before. But you should NEVER stop there in the chapter! Paul goes on to explain what God has done for us with Jesus's sacrifice to make us free.

Chapter eight just expounds and expounds and expounds on how amazing Christ is and how great his love is for us. I think the part I loved the most already is the part about prayer. Paul says not to worry about not knowing what to pray. Prayer isn't magic. He says Jesus will take whatever we've got and give it to the Father, who knows us better than we even know ourselves.

GOD UNDERSTANDS OUR JIBBERISH!!

Boy, he loves me more than I'll ever UNDERSTAND. It's such a weird thought. It's like his goodness never ends.

Island-hopping.

Hello again

Daily news always turns into weekly news, but now it's turned into monthly news. My apologies. So what's the news? Well, it's now past mid-terms at school, so I know where I stand in all of my classes, and where I need work (English Composition II).

Work is still the same--it won't ever change. Ever. The only thrill there is when we get new people and the thrill only lasts if those new people are interesting. Turns out we've gotten some pretty enjoyable people since the beginning of the year. But Sonic has never been and will never BE my favorite subject, so we move on.

My favorite news is always what's going on in the church. I'm steadily continuing to grow steadier in music--the method and theory is coming with ease, and I've been more excited than ever to be able to play weekly with the band. We actually got a chance to play in Sunday service the day after we came home from Acquire the Fire. It was amazing. Since that Sunday, I think the whole band's vision is changing--the worship really seems more present.

The youth (which includes me, of course) are visibly growing closer to each other. More and more people break their barriers every week, and the Spirit is helping to all listen to each other and support each other. There's still a few out there who haven't budged, but it'll be their turn next. This is such an amazing thing they're missing, I'm sure it'll catch on.

We've had a couple of speakers in the last month, some of them were from TBI. Man, that week was awesome. It just seems like every time we're able to get down to the nitty gritty with something and there's always something to learn--some strength or encouragement to carry away.

It seems like all along in my Walk I've been waiting for fellowship like this. Now I've finally found it. The funny thing is that it's so hard to explain to outsiders what exactly I get out of all of it. I find myself trying to explain to people why kids teaching kids has been so effective and so unifying. Everyone seems so afraid, but I can only feel ecstasy.

So I find myself getting through the days just to go back for more. I never before pictured myself in church five days a week. It's like island hopping between Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays.

Video.

The video is here.

Get the Flames

Acquire the Fire was this weekend.
Visit my Picasa Album for the pictures.

Working on a Video.

Will blog about it the trip later.

Hang my head and listen

Haven't been excited about much lately. But this excited me last night: Joy Electric put a demo song on their MySpace. I can't believe all the great music that's been coming out recently...

Anyways, school's coming along. I've received some feedback from some of my professors that I am doing well (especially in science). Biology has become a love.

Last summer, I fell into such a passive state. Time passed me by while I worked and slept, and didn't build any friendships or work at them. I'm subconsciously falling back into this. It's like sleep overtaking me without consent. I've made my vows, it grew tough, and I end up worse than before.

I'd like a new thought process, you know? I hate the things that are always in my head. I've got a plan. At least I've got that.


It's starts with an iMac.

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My dream to become a school-teacher may be much more attainable than I previously thought. I'm going to apply to a few private schools around town over the summer.

It's also looking like Laughlin Air Force Base may be interested in my computer experience. If possible I'll be taking a job there this summer.

It's time to just get started I feel.

Unable.

Too much work. Too much school. Not enough time. I love my friends. I love playing guitar. I love taking pictures. I love playing Nintendo. I love the youth band.

Had a hard week last week. No blog--I didn't want to scare anyone. Had a couple of hard nights. Pulled through. Chris helped--big time. I miss that guy.

Here's some pictures I took on Friday at my party at church

Birthday present!

YES! My birthday's Friday. Mom and Dad got me this and it came early.

Irony

Tonight I shook a multi-billionare's hand. My dad's is softer. Does money solve more problems than it creates?

Everything's missing but nothing's wrong?

It's one of those fine days when you just want to take a long quiet walk and just let everything soak in. Just breathe in all the air you can. The wind is so crisp and clear, too! This is one of those days that I can just smile, looking ahead, and trip over all my surroundings.

Sometimes I wonder what's worth the fight when everything is said and done. Que sera, sera... the song of bittersweet apathy.

I feel like such a renegade at war when I turn around and realize where I am and where everyone else is. How is everyone able to do it right? Why will I never be like them? Do I need to? Should I want to? Who's really the smart ones?

Windy days make me think like this.