God talking about love.

I don't normally post twice in one day. The last blog was written around midnight last night. This was written this morning at school.

I lied in bed last night and all it took was two or three words to let God know I was listening, and He didn’t hold back. I almost feel like he was yelling at me, like Lawrence that one day in the field in front of his house. It was loving, but it was firm.

I can’t go on only thinking about myself. To see reality again like I did yesterday would take me forgetting about myself and embracing other peoples lives. I’m reading a book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. He says love feels so amazing because you forget about yourself and think about the other person instead. The other person’s life becomes yours, and yours becomes theirs. I don’t feel like he’s limiting this type of love to “marriage” or “girlfriend”. I think this love is what we’re supposed extend to all people.

Since I embraced faith in Christ, I’ve discovered its ultimate simplicity and how very logical it all is. At the end of all my personal journeys and diehard attempts at running my own life, I now always realize that it’s perfectly logical to give it to Christ. If I can’t run my own life, why not give it to someone else? Someone who is absolutely perfect and good. It makes a lot of sense.

At the same time, if all the time I spend trying to make myself feel better is wasted, then why not give all that time and effort to someone else, to other people? It makes a lot of sense. Though it’s likely that I won’t change anytime soon, at least I’ve written this down. At least I can challenge myself.

There is a drama and theatre class across the hall from me right now. I’m currently waiting for government class to start. Now I wish I could take electives, whereas I earlier thought I would only be wasting my time. Maybe next semester.