Like a dream.

This weekend was a sweet basket or rarities. Like drawing Wild in the UNO card game. Such a blessing. God has granted some peace, even in spite of my inattentiveness. I think he does this to help me remember where I ought to be casting my eyes, but sometimes I fail to make the connection. Either way this weekend was unlike other weekends, which are usually like sores rubbing together in my joints.

Joey and I were able to spend lots of time together. I stayed at his house Friday night and slept on his tile floor. Amazingly enough, though, I ended up getting sleep. When we decided to get up, he went and took a shower and I jumped up on his bed and got about a half hour of sleep, seeming to erase the whole night's discomfort. I wasn't even stiff or sore the next day. Joey and I hung out until Saturday evening. We cooked out at my house and watched Freedom Writers that afternoon.

Freedom Writers is definitely recommendable. It's not a really artsy movie, but there are plenty of good movies made by people other than Stanley Kubrick and Wes Anderson... though those ones are always good for more than one viewing. I guess I liked the movie a lot because of the way the teacher handled things. A good teacher. Recently I've taken interest in pursuing a teaching career, so it was definitely an encouragement. Plus, the movie spoke a lot about how bad some kids' childhoods really are out there in the real world. Though I've heard a taste of bad childhoods before, this only went on the emphasize the reality some people have to face. And how blessed I am while I hardly pay attention.

Today was really weird. I wasn't myself at all. But it wasn't intentional at all. I could sense it from the moment I woke, too. I was full of new visions. The world was present and alive. One thing I've always dreamed of being able to do is to stop all "background thought" while I'm walking through life. Kind of like watching a movie... but living it. Like seeing the world for the world and not what's underneath. It's foolish. I've always dreamed of being able to walk through the world, not thinking about it, not expecting anything to happen, and being surprised and shocked by everything, doing everything differently, and engulfing myself in every conversation with full interest. There's a foolish side and a good side. I guess I'm really dreaming of not having a bias, which would be a good thing; but at the same time, I'm dreaming of not having a conscience, a voice in my head, being alone. A bad thing. I'm going to investigate all of this.

Anyways, I worked two hours and was more clumsy than normal. Dropping things, bumping into things. I hardly said any words to anyone this afternoon. I began to get really tired. I hardly even thought about anything. This was lovely. It was like I forgot I was alive. I forgot I was here. Haha, like a high person. I returned to normal after an hour's sleep on returning from work and I'm only left with a few questions and some new thoughts. I'll make left and right out of this in the next couple of days.

School starts tomorrow.